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Sloppy DrunksNobody likes a sloppy drunk, stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunkFall on your face and your head goes 'clunk,' things spin around throw up in your bunk Nobody likes a sloppy drunk, stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk Nobody likes sloppy drunks My Uncle he came over Christmas night and ate up all our food That wouldn't be so bad but then he went and drank up all the booze He went and cussed my papa, now that was downright rude You get liquored up in my house, son, I'm gonna hafta read you the news Nobody likes a sloppy drunk, stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk Fall on your face and your head goes 'clunk,' things spin around throw up in your bunk Nobody likes a sloppy drunk, stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk Nobody likes sloppy drunks Was down at the Round-Up Bar one night, was gettin' on about two Seen this cowboy, he was arm and arm with my old friend Betty Lou He ordered up a round of drinks he was actin' up a fool He was rippin' up on her dress and hittin' on her too Nothing gets me more riled up than a cowboy actin' rude So I grabbed him up by the scruff of the neck and yes, I read that boy the news Nobody likes a sloppy drunk, stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk Fall on your face and your head goes 'clunk,' things spin around throw up in your bunk Nobody likes a sloppy drunk, stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk Nobody likes sloppy drunks Read that boy the news Yee-ha! Come on now, go and get 'em Yeah, I know you don't like 'em neither Ain't that the truth Come on Nobody likes a sloppy drunk (Read that boy the news) Stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk (Read that boy the news) Fall on your face and your head goes 'clunk' (Read that boy the news) Things spin around throw up in your bunk (Read that boy the news) Nobody likes sloppy drunks (Read that boy the news) Nobody likes a sloppy drunk, (Read that boy the news) Stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk (Read that boy the news) Nobody likes sloppy drunks (Read that boy the news) Come on now Nobody likes a sloppy drunk (Read that boy the news) Stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk (Read that boy the news) Fall on your face and your head goes 'clunk' (Read that boy the news) Things spin around throw up in your bunk (Read that boy the news) Nobody likes a sloppy drunk (Read that boy the news) Stinkin' up the room like a stinky skunk (Read that boy the news) Nobody likes sloppy drunks (Read that boy the news) Yee-hoo! |
Railroad BluesAll aboard, track seventeen - all aboardYee-ha This song is dedicated to all the hardworking pioneers of this country Settin' out discoverin the West Bringing the railroad to where no man has ever been before Johnny, he worked on the railroad - pounding on iron and steel Working his way out west now - the only sure thing's his next meal America was young, but she was a-growing Layin' tracks across the prairie not knowing where they're goin' His momma didn't want him leaving, but now he's headin' out west She said "Please don't go" but he said "If I don't I'll never rest" It wasn't always easy, some of the boys died Johnny wrote her letters but he received no replies Johnny, he worked on the railroad - pounding on iron and steel Working his way out west now - the only sure thing's his next meal Johnny reached San Francisco tired and broke without a dime Started panning for gold just a-hoping he would find The gold wasn't a-rushin', but Johnny kept on minin' Trying to send his momma somethin' with the letters he was signin' And one day Johnny finally got a reply When he opened Momma's letter, he began to cry She's a-writing from her deathbed and this is what she said: "Please don't be mad at me, son, cause tomorrow I'll be dead" Johnny, he worked on the railroad - pounding on iron and steel Working his way out west now - the only sure thing's his next meal Ah-ha! Ah-ha! Ha! |
We Can Do ThisListen here lady, got somethin' to tell yaI'm out on the road and I'm goin' nowhere Lookin' to find (lookin' to find) Some ah, peace of mind (peace of mind) Been a-cheatin' and boozin', playin' my music Seems all my life I've been ah, looking for something by and by (by and by) Why can't I see the signs (see the signs) Turned my back on your lovin' cause I wasn't thinkin' You're gonna burn me and leave me all broken and high and dry (high and dry) I cannot tell a lie (tell a lie) What's the point in playin' these games when we could be lovin' Holding each other ah, hand in hand (hand in hand) All we need's a plan (need's a plan) We can do this if we try, try hard enough to fall in love We can do this if we try, reach stars in heavens above We can do this if we try, try hard enough to fall in love Oh darlin'now please don't you cry, reach stars in heavens above Now listen here lady, I've been gone for a while Things are changin' since I've been around Bein' with you (being with you) With your lovin' too (lovin' too) Now I was born a travelin' man America is the beautiful land And I'm on the road (on the road) Just a-pullin' my load (he's pulling his load) I've been beggin' done me no wrong Livin' this lifestyle ah, much too long That's ah, all I know (all I know) A-going show to show (show to show) One last time, a second chance It's not too late for a beautiful romance I just a need you (I need you) Tell me what to do (what to do) Ooo! We can do this if we try, try hard enough to fall in love We can do this if we try, reach stars in heavens above We can do this if we try, try hard enough to fall in love Oh darlin' now please don't you cry, thank stars in heavens above Darlin'...come on, darlin' I know what you're thinkin' I know I done some things right, and I done some things wrong You know ever since I was born, country music's all I know And the road has been my life Drinkin' whiskey and playin' music, that was always my wife We can do this if we try, try hard enough to fall in love We can do this if we try, reach stars in heavens above We can do this if we try, try hard enough to fall in love Oh darlin'now please don't you cry, thank stars in heavens above |
Country DelightWoo!Well I am Country Mike and I'd like to say hello To the black, the white, the red and the green, the purple and yellow But first I gotta bang-bang, stomp my boots, movin' to the country beat Catfish and corn bread is what I love to eat But so far ya heard my voice, yes it ain't no riddle Right now I'm gonna introduce my man Slim on the fiddle Yee-hah! Woo! Ah-ha! Come on now boys Well - ranch house, barnyard, at the ro-day-o Ranch house feel lot actin' up c'mon, now dosey-do Say C-O-U-N-T-R-Y to all the people's delight I go by the unforgettable name of the man they call-a Country Mike My name is known all over the world, by the cityfolk and the cowgirl I'm going down in history as the baddest cowboy there ever could be Got Greg on the bass, Slim on the fiddle I got the down home music and you're partin' in the middle Woo Just throw your hands up in the air While you're dancin' to the beat shake your derriere See yee-hah! - yee-hah! Say yee-hah! C'mon Yee-hah! Yeah Mike Yee-hah - sounds good Ah-hah! |
Don't Let the Air Out of My TiresAh-ha!Yeah this is dedicated to all you backstabbing fools out there There's gonna be hell to pay I catch up with you Think I don't know? I know what you're up to! Yeah pretty boys... Don't let the air outta my tires - hoo-hoo Don't like dealin' with no liars - hoo-hoo I'm not the type to turn a blind eye When you're asleep I'm gonna catch you guy Don't pass me boy you got a-something to say Go tell 'em now on a rainy day Talk is cheap, yours ain't worth a dime Jump on my back I'm gonna whip your behind Got eyes in the back of my head and ears for miles You're gonna pay the piper with your lyin' smile You tried to knock a train off the track You shaved my head and then stabbed me in the back Four days in a row and my tires is flat I pity the fool and I'm-a trap that rat When I catch that pretty boy, I tell ya what I'm gonna do I'm gonna hitch him on my pickup truck and make him pay his dues Don't let the air outta my tires - hoo-hoo Don't like dealin' with no liars - hoo-hoo I'm not the type to turn a blind eye When you're asleep I'm gonna catch you guy Play a solo Messin' with me like something you never had Like a buckin' bull when I get mad Hit 'em with my truck and you get high You can run whenever you want, but you're gettin' hogtied Messin' with me you're gonna pay a price It happens all the time, son, and I ain't that nice Don't let the air outta my tires - hoo-hoo Don't like dealin' with no liars - hoo-hoo I'm not the type to turn a blind eye When you're asleep I'm gonna catch you guy One more time now boys! Don't let the air outta my tires - hoo-hoo Don't like dealin' with no liars - hoo-hoo I'm not the type to turn a blind eye When you're asleep I'm gonna catch you guy Hoo-hoo! |
How Do You Mend An Achin' HeartTry within you never really can repair what hurts insideStill remember when the good times rolled and you still had your pride Just when you think you got your lesson learned You're going for love and you get burned How do you mend an achin' heart, when there's too many holes to fill Follow me down to the boathouse and drown in the old river swill Hard to resist the passion in the heat of the night Couldn't see enough of her, now I can't stand her sight Wasn't even lookin' when you came along Seems like just yesterday when I sang you a song That don't make no blue kind of tape in me Nothing's gonna stop this old heart a-bleedin' How do you mend achin' heart's been so many years Guess I'll go drink a riverbed, just drown myself in tears How do you mend an achin' heart, when there's too many holes to fill Follow me down to the boathouse and drown in the old river swill Yaaaa-eeee-yaaah Yaah yaah yaah yaah Yaah yaah yaah Yaah yaah yaah yaah |
One Song A NightAin't no one tell me what to doI wrote this special song from me to you Ain't got no time to mess around Put a smile on your face and lose that frown Put a little country in your heart That will give you a fresh start Cause with me writin' songs just ain't that hard Just readin' you the news with my gee-tar I write one song a night, I say one song a night It makes me feel good the next morning, feel good my whole life I write one song a night, I say one song a night Music is my lady and my gee-tar is my life Without Country Mike what would you do? You need my songs like I need you Everyone has got their special place If yours ain't country get out my face Can't take a man out the country can't you see Keep your city-slickin' hands off of me A day just ain't a day without a song I been hootin' and a hoo-ing and hollerin' all night long Ah-hah! I write one song a night, I say one song a night Feel good the next morning, feel good my whole life I write one song a night, I say one song a night Cause music is my lady and my gee-tar is my wife |
Country ChristmasNow, I'd like to thank the Lord Jesus Christ for helpin' my family gather around here today and puttin' all this great food on our table and I just hope He's just as generous to all the other fine country families out there on this special day.We're havin' a country Christmas - I hope you'll have one too Santa Claus is bakin' biscuits - what did he bake for you? Daddy's got the fire a-blazin' - it's such a fine sight to see Now all the cow hands are amazin' - and Santa left a gift for me It's a country, country Christmas - people are gathered around Country, country Christmas - baby Jesus is in town And Santa gave Daddy some whiskey - an iron's what he gave to my mom I promise ol' Kris Kringle - I write a song a night on my guitar Turkey with all the fixins' - thank the Lord for all-a my food For the wise men and the manger - to this game I'll always stay true Well it's a country, country Christmas - sleigh bells and reindeer Country, country Christmas - just good old family cheer Woo! Look Daddy...Santa came down the chimney and he drank the milk and ate the cookies I left for him. Look, an iron for Maw, see that Daddy? Little whiskey for you...and even left a gift for me! Thank you, Santa...Merry Christmas! |
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This is a song 'bout an old country singer friend of mine
His name is Kenny Jones He was a small town legend from Tennessee He went in search of the big city with some dreams he was lookin' for But things kind of got off track a bit But of course you know he's always welcome back, right here to Tennessee Kenny Jones grew up in a little Tennessee town When he played the gee-tar and all the people gathered 'round Been playin' country music since the day that Kenny was born When he left his Tennessee town with these words to Kenny I did warn This is what I said: Who knows all, who knows best Whether you're in the East, you're in the West Go get your cowboy boots and your special vest Cause country music knows the best Kenny left the Grand Ol' Opry, lookin' for fortune and fame Packed his bags off to Hollywood, tryin' to make himself a name Bright lights, big city and Kenny's lookin' for a hit Tryin' to make some money, but Kenny ain't makin' shit Well he turned his back on Country, now Kenny's playin' rock and roll Didn't look where he's going, and Kenny fell into a hole City's like a railroad car then it went off track Now he's coming home to Nashville, where Kenny's always welcome back And this is what we say: Who knows all, who knows best Whether you're in the East, you're in the West Go get your cowboy boots and your special vest Cause country music knows......... |
Country Mike's ThemeWho's Country MikeI'm Country Mike Where's Country Mike Here's Country Mike Who's Country Mike Woo! I'm Country Mike Yeah Country Mike I'm Country Mike Read those boys the news Read those boys the news Read those boys the news Read those boys the news Who's Country Mike I'm Country Mike Where's Country Mike Here's Country Mike Here's Country Mike |
On Your Way Up Again (the Fowl Song)My papa done told me: don't put all your eggs in one basketBecause you might be countin' your chickens before they hatch Which brings us to the question: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" If I knew that, I know why a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush Now we all wanna be free like an eagle But we also know what it's like when someone flies the coop And I think that's a real birdseye view of the situation Once around the corner, once around the bend When you're on your way up again Go and tell the grocer, and go and tell your friend When you're on your way up again You see the people on the way up, see people on the way down When you hit rock bottom, only way you can go is up Now we all know it's real lonely at the top So don't bite the hand that feeds ya, you just might get burned Patience is a virtue, so you best wait your turn Once around the corner, once around the bend When you're on your way up again Go and tell the grocer, and go and tell your friend When you're on your way up again Do unto others as you want done unto you One isn't as much as the other, you know that ain't true Don't get your foot in the door, follow your own way Don't let the success fool you, you won't go astray When the shoe is on the other foot and that is how it stands One of these days I'm takin' the law in my own damn hands Once around the corner, once around the bend When you're on your way up again Go and tell the grocer, and go and tell your friend When you're on your way up again |
The Half-WitWhen Sally was a girlShe was the lonliest soul in grade school Folks all though she was a half-wit It was just that...she just didn't like to speak |
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